I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
