I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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