i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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