I think I am morally bankrupt
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize