The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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