3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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