Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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