The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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