He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
