i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
