Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
