I need to stop coming to work sober
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
