Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
