What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
