I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
