I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
