Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
