First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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