I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
