When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
