We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
