Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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