OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
