You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
