im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
