You're so nebulous sometimes
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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