He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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