they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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