Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
