your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Please don't give away my fajitas
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
