she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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