just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
