idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The uberlube is also flammable
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
