Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
