Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
