She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
