your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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