U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize