I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
