his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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