Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
