Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
