Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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