I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That's intense
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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