is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
