Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
