Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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