five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
