Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
