We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
