Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize