But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize