Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
