I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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