Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
