you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
