If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
