Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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