I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just high enough for therapy.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
