hotel room ftw
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
