I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
