You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
