I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize