Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
