All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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