why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I want to make a zoo with you.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
