she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
