Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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