It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize