I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
