DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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