you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i've created a new STD.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
