I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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