i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she peed on how many people?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
