You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
