I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
