lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
