so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
