i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
