What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
