BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize