i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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